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Letters from the Front

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Side quests have a bit of a reputation. Some don’t like it, others do; I am one of those people that like side quests. As for the reputation, it’s well deserved; some side quests within RPG’s feel like filler or uninspired content; you go fetch something, you kill this monster or person, or something uninspired but there are some side quests that tryly stand out.

Unlike IGN’s list of side quests which was a bunch of baloney, I decided to fix their list by adding the best side quests within RPG’s. Here are the best RPG side quests, from Fallout 3 to The Witcher 3, here are the top 5 best side quests within RPGs.

Cappy in a Haystack ( Fallout 4: Nuka World )

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Side quests are often at their best when they’re wacky. Since side quests are completely optional, I think most people are willing to accept them when the side quests are funny and wacky. Fallout side quests are always weird, zany, and unusual; remember that side quest in Andale in Fallout 3? Yeah.

Cappy in a Haystack is part of Fallout 4’s Nuka World expansion, which is the last expansion for the game.  The Nuka-World park is based around the idea of Disneyworld and Disneyland, it’s just a theme park surrounding the famous soda brand that is prevalent in the Fallout universe and Cappy in a Haystack leans heavily with this similarity. Within the side quest, the player is tasked with using special glasses to locate ten hidden Cappy mascot characters painted on various surfaces, a reference and a nice easter egg to the hidden Mickey Mouses that you can find around the Disney theme parks around the world in the real world.

Locating all the Cappys takes you on a journey throughout Nuka-World. It’s time-consuming, as most of the sidequests are within Fallout, but the narrative payoff is pretty great. Gathering all ten Cappys allows you to access the upstairs office of John-Caleb Bradburton, the founder of the Nuka Cola corporation and the inventor of the famous Nuka Cola soda, his character, name, and backstory is obviously influenced by the real-life John Pemberton, who created Coca-Cola in 1886 in the real world.  Inside his tiny office, you’ll find a secret panel. Behind it is an elevator.

I won’t spoil the end as it is a nice callback and an easter egg to a certain mission within Fallout: New Vegas. Cappy in a Haystack is a weird sidequest to have within a game, but that’s one of the reasons why I love Fallout’s sidequests so much. This sidequest represents what Fallout is all about in some ways, Fallout can be weird and zany at times while being a serious game about the end of the world.

Oasis ( Fallout 3 )

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The depressing world of Fallout 3 isn’t really known for being a nice and beautiful world with lush green trees, eventually, you’ll get there.

Somewhere hidden in the Capital Wasteland lays a place where green trees thrive and there is clean water, it is hidden pretty well but, eventually, you’ll get there once you explore enough.

Drink from the basin and you’ll meet with the Great One, a talking tree whose name is Harold and is a character previously seen in Fallout 2 and has somehow evolved into a tree and has found himself in the Capital Wasteland. The best part of this entire side quest is the choices and decisions you have to make; whatever you decide, make sure that is the right decision that you want to go forward with.

Batarian Bartender ( Mass Effect 2 )

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After a busy day of saving the galaxy from the Collectors, you might think that Commander Shepard might fancy a drink at the Afterlife club on the planet of Omega but you’re wrong.

Commander Shepard loses consciousness and wakes up outside. In the morning, once sleeping outside, you can go back into the bar and demand some justice! It turns out that the bartender was poisoning his customers, someone had to let him know that isn’t a very smart business decision.

You Are Cordially Invited: Tea Party ( Borderlands 2 )

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All girls deserve a good tea party, especially Tina, who is a side character that you meet later on in Borderlands 2, around the middle of the game.

Tina is easily one of the best characters of Borderlands 2 and rightfully so: she is Pandora’s deadliest 13 year old and loves to make things explode. Don’t ever cross her bad side like this psycho did.

This side quest is perhaps the most disgusting, twisted, and the coolest tea party ever: the player acts as a bouncer fighting off hordes of enemies while Tiny Tina tortures an enemy who is strapped to an electric chair.

Everything comes to an end when it is revealed that the psycho that is strapped to the chair reveals that he has the one who pulled the trigger on Tiny Tina’s family. It ends with a tragic twist. I hope she returns in Borderlands 3.

Goodness, gracious, great balls of Granite!   ( The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine.)

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Best sidequest of all time. Ever. Period.

This quest can be found in Beauclair, Toussaint, within the massive city area in the last expansion of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, Blood and Wine. It’s denoted by an exclamation mark as a point of interest on the map, and the NPC you have to talk to in order to kick this quest off is marked as an art curator. It can also be found on notice boards within the city, which will lead you to the art curator.

After talking to the art curator and hearing of the crimes which basically is that someone stole the ballsack off of Reginald which is the statue within the city center.

After using your witcher senses, You’ll be led to a house and meet the person responsible for stealing Reginald’s sack. The old dude is involved in more than just testicle-stealing, however, and is having an affair with a soldier’s wife.  The husband will then arrive, angry – you’ll need to get rid of him and what follows is one of the weirdest and interesting side quests within the entire expansion pack.

It turns out that Reginald’s ballsack grants the user almost unlimited stamina for sex and the user can go for days. You’ll have to make a choice; let the old man keep it or to return it immediately or in a few days time. Me being a weird person decided that the old man keep Reginald’s sack as he was having a bit of fun.

This is the best side quest ever. Period.

 

 

 

 

2 comments on “Top 5 Most Memorable RPG Side Quests

  1. I remember that jerk Batarian Bartender… haha

    1. Physics says:

      Same. I wanted to strangle him lmfao. What a jerk lol

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